Seeing Oxford Through a Parent’s Eyes

Seeing Oxford Through a Parent’s Eyes

It’s hard to believe how quickly time has passed! It feels like only yesterday I was walking my son to primary school, wondering what kind of person he would become. Now, suddenly, we’re visiting universities together and talking about courses, careers and the next chapter of his life.

Recently, we spent a day at the University of Oxford. Like many people, I arrived with certain assumptions. Oxford has always seemed almost mythical – a place associated with centuries of tradition, exceptional academic achievement and, if I’m honest, a touch of elitism. I expected beautiful buildings and brilliant minds, but I also wondered whether it would feel intimidating or out of reach.

Instead, I came away with a very different impression. What struck me most was the collegiate system. Each student belongs to a college, creating a smaller community within the wider university. Students are supported not only academically but also in their day-to-day lives, with college accommodation, cooked meals and a genuine sense of belonging. For young people leaving home for the first time, that feels incredibly reassuring.

Academically, there is no doubt that expectations are high. The tutorial system, where students learn in very small groups, demands preparation, curiosity and independent thinking. It isn’t an easy path, nor should it be.

Yet what surprised me was how inclusive Oxford appeared to be. Rather than feeling like an exclusive club, it felt like a place actively trying to attract talented students from every background. Walking around the colleges, you could hear different languages and accents from all over the world. It felt international, diverse and far more welcoming than I had imagined.

As a parent of a teenager with ADHD, I found myself looking at the university through a slightly different lens. Would my son simply survive here, or could he genuinely flourish?

To my surprise, I could imagine the latter. The structure of regular tutorials, where students are known as individuals rather than anonymous faces in a lecture theatre, could provide exactly the kind of accountability and personal engagement that helps many neurodivergent students thrive. Equally important was the extraordinary range of clubs, societies and extracurricular activities. University is about so much more than lectures; it’s about finding your people, exploring new interests and growing in confidence.

Of course, visiting a university for a few hours is very different from studying there. One open day cannot tell the whole story. But first impressions matter, and ours were overwhelmingly positive.

Whether or not my son eventually applies to Oxford is still unknown. There are many excellent universities, and the right choice is deeply personal. But this visit challenged some of my own preconceptions.

Perhaps that’s one of the greatest lessons for parents as our children grow up. We spend years encouraging them to keep an open mind, yet we sometimes forget to do the same ourselves.

As we left Oxford that afternoon, I wasn’t thinking about famous alumni or ancient traditions. I was thinking about possibility. About a young man beginning to picture his future, and about a parent quietly realising that the next adventure may be just around the corner.